15. “I could never do it.” (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, “Free to a good home. My mom can’t do it.”?)
14. “Do they have different personalities?” (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)
13. Said by a stranger, “They’re identical, right?” Mom answers, “No. They’re fraternal.” Stranger response, “They are NOT!” (OK. You’re right. I have no idea what I’m talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It’s been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)
12. “Are they ‘paternal’ twins?” (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)
11. “Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.” (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)
10. “When one cries, does he wake the other?” (No. Twins cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)
9. From a perfect stranger: “Were they in the same sac?” (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)
8. “Are they developmentally behind?” (Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.)
7. “How do you do it?” (Haven’t you seen the Nike commercials?
6. Said by a dentist: “I was shocked that they didn’t have the same bite patterns.” (They are two different human beings, not clones.)
5. “You must be SO busy.” (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)
4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: “How do you tell them apart?” (I just look at them.)
3. “What do you do when they both cry at the same time?” (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)
2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?” (Uh. Not exactly.)
1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: “Are they brothers?” (Enough said.)
Let’s be honest. People are fascinated with twins. They don’t mean to say stupid things. It just happens. It happens to all of us. Saying stupid things is one activity that joins us all together as human beings. Learn to forgive the frailties of others and enjoy the laughs later. Life is a journey. Enjoy the double-stroller roller coaster ride!